By Josh Miller
Americans were taught that their kingdom is civilized and humane. yet, too frequently, U.S. activities were uncivilized and inhumane.”
Shedding gentle on 500 years of suppression, this surprising exposé finds the pivotal position in American heritage performed by means of its so much invisible minorityzombies.
From colonization and revolution to global Wars and international hegemony, A Zombie’s background of the United States tells the strong and relocating tales of this country’s living-dead underclass, including:
The zombie bloodbath of eu colonists at Plymouth Rock
The grotesque killing of a zombinated Meriwether Lewis via his fellow explorer William Clark
The doomed protection of the Alamo opposed to hordes of the attacking undead
The heroic, platoon-saving cost right into a hail of German hearth through an undead Lt. Audie Murphy
The top-secret NASA missions that launched(and usually misplaced) zombies into space
The anti-terrorist application to forestall the weaponization of the zombie virus
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Extra resources for A Zombie's History of the United States: From the Massacre at Plymouth Rock to the CIA's Secret War on the Undead
Many of the men were unable to swim, which made the icy water just as treacherous as the encroaching undead. Forbade to discharge their firearms as well, the soldiers were forced to 47 A Zombie’s History of tHe United stAtes chop at the zombies with their knives, swords, and bayonets to prevent them from climbing into the boats. Miraculously, Knox got the men across the river—and with only a single casualty. Washington’s surprise attack at Trenton was a glorious success. Along with desperately needed muskets, powder, and artillery, 1,000 prisoners were captured.
The negotiators would meet every day for lengthy discussion of treaty terms (such as prewar debts and the new boundaries of American territory), often convening over meals attended by a variety of guests. On the night of November 12, negotiations commenced over dinner at the Hotel de Valentinois. One of the guests in attendance was the Marquis de Lafayette, who had proved his valor and military prowess during the war at the Battle of Rhode Island and again at Yorktown. Lafayette had just recently 54 A Revolting Revolution returned from America, bringing with him a zombie he had captured in Virginia, which he planned to present to King Louis XVI.
The second method is when someone denounces a person as undead, but does not offer to prove it and is not willing to embroil himself in the matter; but says that he lays information out of zeal for the faith, or because of a sentence of excommunication inflicted by the Ordinary or his Vicar; or because of the temporal punishment exacted by the secular Judge upon those who fail to lay information. The third method involves an inquisition, that is, when there is no accuser or informer, but a general report that there are undead in some town or place; and then the Judge must proceed, not at the instance of any party, but simply by the virtue of his office.
A Zombie's History of the United States: From the Massacre at Plymouth Rock to the CIA's Secret War on the Undead by Josh Miller